禁漫天堂

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More kids are dealing with serious mental health issues in life after the pandemic. Parents sometimes struggle to tell whether their kid is just a typical hormonal teenager grappling with becoming an adult, or if they鈥檙e dealing with something more serious.

But research suggests that to help their kids, parents and caregivers need to take a look at themselves and their own mental health.

It鈥檚 normal for teenagers to feel stress, but depression and anxiety disorders have defined symptoms, says , faculty director of the project at Harvard鈥檚 Graduate School of Education.

鈥淲hen kids are depressed, they鈥檙e often not eating well. They鈥檙e not sleeping well. They鈥檙e withdrawing from social activities,鈥� he says. 鈥淭hey can be really moody and really irritable in a way that鈥檚 very different than normal moodiness and irritability.鈥�

Weissbourd鈥檚 research with Making Caring Common explores the link between parents鈥� and teens鈥� mental health. In December 2022, he and his team conducted two national surveys 鈥� one with teenagers and young adults, and another with parents and caregivers 鈥� that showed parents and teens are suffering anxiety and depression at about . Young adults are doing almost as teenagers.

鈥淲e would be just as right to sound the alarm about a parent or caregiver mental health crisis than about a teen mental health crisis,鈥� Weissbourd says. 鈥淪o we鈥檙e worried about a lot of things that can go wrong when both the parent and teen are anxious and depressed, and we鈥檙e trying to move things in a direction where parents and teens can actually be helpful to each other in these situations.鈥�

4 questions with Richard Weissbourd

How are parents鈥� and kids鈥� mental health connected? 

鈥淔or parents, our well-being is often tied to how well our kids are doing. When you鈥檙e anxious and depressed, it鈥檚 harder to be emotionally available to your teen and patient and steady in the way the teens often really need. So that鈥檚 how these negative cycles can start and that鈥檚 why it鈥檚 so important to break these cycles early.鈥�

How can parents do a better job of listening to their kids? 

鈥淚 think it鈥檚 important for parents to recognize that even when they are anxious and depressed, they鈥檝e often learned a lot, have developed coping strategies, [and] they have a lot to provide to their kids even in those situations. And I think part of this is that parents don鈥檛 have confidence that they can be helpful to their kids.

鈥淚 also think that parents are often themselves isolated and that when parents are able to maintain strong relationships with their partners, with friends outside their families 鈥攚hen they have sufficient support 鈥� they鈥檙e far more likely to be emotionally available to their kids and able to listen and connect to their kids.鈥�

Should parents talk to their kids about their own mental health challenges? 

鈥淲hen you are depressed, you often withdraw, you鈥檙e often moody, you become angry very suddenly in ways that are frightening to a kid. And kids think there鈥檚 something wrong with them. And when a parent can say, 鈥楾his isn鈥檛 about you. This is about something I鈥檓 experiencing,鈥� it can provide enormous relief to a teen, and it can make the world make sense again.

鈥淭hat doesn鈥檛 mean that parents should be talking a lot about their depression [or] anxiety and expecting their kids to be in a therapeutic role with them. It鈥檚 important when parents do talk about depression [or] anxiety with their kids, that they also convey that they鈥檙e managing it, that they鈥檙e doing something about it to get help because it can be frightening for a kid to think that a parent鈥檚 depression [or] anxiety might spiral out of control in some way.鈥�

What鈥檚 causing the rise in mental health issues among kids and their parents? 

鈥淚 think there are a lot of things going on and they differ by race and culture and class. What鈥檚 going on with affluent kids is really different than what鈥檚 going on with low-income kids in many respects. In many middle and upper-class communities, I do worry about achievement pressure becoming so excessive. And when we ask teens, we give them a list of things that might be negatively influencing their mental health, achievement pressure comes up number one in the amount of stress.

鈥淲e also find the teens are lonely and we find that teens feel like they have little or no meaning or purpose in their life. About 30% or a third feel like they have little or no meaning or purpose in their life. I think the loss of faith-based communities, religion, so many fewer people are observing, it鈥檚 concerning in many ways. I鈥檓 not suggesting that people should suddenly become more religious, but you know 鈥� the community is really important and the sense of purpose and meaning that faith-based communities can provide. There are structures in religious communities for dealing with trauma and grief and loss that can be very important to teens. So again, my point is not that we should suddenly become more religious. My point is we have to think about how to reproduce those aspects of religion in secular life.鈥�

 produced and edited this interview for broadcast with . Raphelson also adapted it for the web.

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